Recently I found myself in a situation that still hasn’t settled with me. It’s been over two weeks & it feels like as it just happened a few moments ago. I am HUGE on trust & I make this very clear to anyone that I deal with especially the opposite sex.
At times I think it’s my fault because depending on the vibes/connection I have with a person, I find myself trusting too soon. I mean damn must I run a background check these days? If I am HONEST with you, then I expect that in return. Unfortunately, some people don’t hold TRUST in such a high regard like I do.
I am NOT saying that I have NEVER lied because I have, however giving an excuse as to why you are late to work, or why you are taking a personal day etc…to me those are what I call white lies. Now those I maybe guilty of more than I am willing to admit (LOL). I just don’t play with people’s emotions, because I know what it’s like to be scorned (I have been hurt plenty & have hurt in return). There is NOTHING refreshing about being scorned, it’s a wound that takes its time to heal. A wound that you can be constantly reminded of in several different instances.
I am just so distraught over this particular person’s actions because I really thought we were friends. I already have trust issues as is, but when I call someone my FRIEND then I expect just that. Maybe I am wrong for expecting shit, or I just give too much with very little in return. I wouldn’t usually be this upset about the BS that happened a couple weeks ago, but I just cannot seem to move past this one. Just knowing that I wasn’t respected enough to be told the truth hurts beyond words.
No matter if I have forgiven this person or not I just can’t seem to forgive the fact that I was lied to. Especially after giving this person a fair warning to come clean & yet I was still lied too. The more I think about it the more elaborate the lie was, I just don’t understand how you say you care for someone but yet you do them so wrong.
Had to vent…for those that have/will read this thanks!